Fr. Tony’s Midweek Message
Finding your pattern, following your
heart
February 13, 2019
“Ask, and it will be given you; search, and you will find; knock, and the door will be opened for you. For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds, and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened. Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for bread, will give a stone? Or if the child asks for a fish, will give a snake? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who ask him!” (Matt 7:7-11)“The kingdom of heaven is like treasure hidden in a field, which someone found and hid; then in his joy he goes and sells all that he has and buys that field. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a merchant in search of fine pearls; on finding one pearl of great value, he went and sold all that he had and bought it. Again, the kingdom of heaven is like a net that was thrown into the sea and caught fish of every kind…” (Matt 13:44-48)
When I was growing up, I was taught
that following Jesus and living the Gospel were primarily a question of
conforming to rules, and fitting my life into a pattern taught by scripture and
church leaders. Being a 60s kid, “conformist”
soon became a bad word for me, and this made me question the value of
faith. Why should I want to be uptight
and constrained, not authentically myself, when I could follow my muse, turn
on, tune in and drop out, and become the “real me?” But I
soon realized that I needed the structure and direction of some kind of power greater
than myself if I hoped for any beauty and progress in my life. This initially took the form of conforming to
other people’s wishes for me. But over
the years, I realized the truth of Trappist monk Thomas Merton’s teachings that
any God who needs to be constantly propped up by an act of will is an idol, and
that God does not require us to become an army of robot, victim souls. I became an Episcopalian in the process of
this realization.
Saintliness is not based in conformity
and rule observation. It is, rather, based
in living with integrity, always an exercise in authenticity. As Merton
also said, “For me to be a saint means to be myself.” St. Francis de Sales similarly said, “Be who
you are and be that perfectly well.” Authenticity
is, in the words of Dolly Parton, “Find out who you truly are, and then go out
and do it on purpose.”
Authenticity and living into the unique
individual God intended in creating each one of us lies behind many of Jesus’
parables on what it means to have God in charge: the treasure hidden in a field, an expensive
pearl, and knocking, asking, and seeking.
One
of the glories of our Anglican tradition is found in Elizabeth I’s defense of
her religious policy eschewing the creation of shibboleths and inside passwords
to ensure conformity to a single religious viewpoint: “I refuse to make windows
into men and women’s souls.” Conformity
should always be toward the patterns and aspirations God places in our hearts
and minds, not to some externally enforced demand of other people. That’s what authenticity and integrity, that’s
what saintliness, is all about.
Grace
and peace.
Fr.
Tony+
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