Saturday, December 1, 2012

Faithful, Thankful, Generous (Holy Matrimony)

 
“Faithful, Thankful, Generous”
1 December 2012 5:00 p.m.
Holy Matrimony
Homily preached at Cathedral Church of St. Mark
Seattle Washington
At the wedding of Daniel Bunn and Elizabeth Bogges

Then Tobias began to say, "Blessed are you, O God of our ancestors, and blessed is your name in all generations forever. Let the heavens and the whole creation bless you forever. You made Adam, and for him you made his wife Eve as a helper and support. From the two of them the human race has sprung. You said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; let us make a helper for him like himself.' I now am taking this kinswoman of mine, not because of lust, but with sincerity. Grant that she and I may find mercy and that we may grow old together."  And they both said, "Amen, Amen."  Then they went to sleep for the night.  (Tobit 8:5-9)


God, take away our hearts of stone, and give us hearts of flesh.  Amen

Elizabeth and Daniel, it is a joy to be here today to celebrate with you, your families and friends, as you two express your love and commitment to each other through vows, the exchange of rings, and sharing our Great Thanksgiving at God’s Table.
You chose as a reading a prayer from the Book of Tobit, part of the ancient traditional Christian canon of the Old Testament.  Called “Apocrypha” by some, the book is about meeting life’s challenges, families overcoming hard times, and, most importantly, about faithful, thankful, and generous love.  
Tobit, a righteous Jew, marries Anna; together they have a son, Tobias, their only child.  Their homeland is conquered and the family is taken into exile.  Honest, energetic, and hardworking, Tobit becomes wealthy.  Yet he is always generous, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, and burying the dead deprived of funerals.
But Tobit’s life, like Job’s, takes a turn for the worse.  The country is split by civil war, and he loses access to the nest egg for old age that he has stored far off in the East.  He is reduced to poverty and finally struck blind doing his good deeds.  His wife Anna starts to work to keep them from starvation, but this hurts Tobit's male pride.  They argue; Anna reminds Tobit of his former charitable deeds and suggests he needs to learn to accept help as well as give it.  
Tobit is not the only person having a bad time of it.   Over in that eastern part of the country, Sarah, a young distant relative, has married in succession seven husbands.  They each mysteriously die before the wedding is consummated.  People are sure she is haunted by a demon and no one will go near her.
Well, in the story, the prayers of Sarah and Tobit reach God at the same time.  He sends the archangel Raphael, who takes the guise of a friend and kinsman to accompany Tobias on the long journey to recover the lost money.   Through the angel’s secret knowledge of medicine and magic, Tobias recovers the money, meets and marries Sarah, defeats the demon, and returns and cures Tobit’s blindness.  They all live happily ever after.  Sarah and Tobit, both only children, together have seven kids.
The story is about the rough things that happen in life and our need to just keep on doing the right thing, no matter what. It tells us, “Be faithful to God, faithful to those you love and who love you, and be true to who you are.  Be thankful and generous.  Listen to your friends and family members’ good advice—especially when things get tough.  Never, ever, give up.”
Our reading is from when Tobias is about to enter the bridal chamber on his wedding night, certain that the demon is going to kill him.  Raphael gives him a little pep talk.  So Tobias gives this prayer instead of running away.
Tobit teaches us the importance of faithfulness, thanksgiving, and generosity.  It does not say that those who follow God will have no problems.  It does say that if we are faithful, grateful, and generous, we have more than enough reason to hope for the best.   
Faithfulness means sticking by those who have loved you and those whom you love.  It is steadiness and reliability.  It is like Horton in the Dr. Seuss book—“I meant what I said and I said what I meant and an elephant’s faithful 100%!”  It means keeping our commitments as well as we are able, whether to God in baptism or to our spouse in marriage.   
Thanksgiving and praise mean having gratitude and awe at the blessings we enjoy. The prayers of Tobit, Sarah and Tobias each begin in praise of the Most High, recalling past blessings and expressing confidence in future ones.   Psychologically, thankfulness drives out the doubt and fear.  It replaces barren resentment with the fertile openness where generosity can grow.  A daily habit of prayer and meditation is key here. 
Daniel and Elizabeth, you have found each other and grown in mutual love, and are at a place where you can build a life and family together.  It is a wondrous gift.  Be thankful for it, every day.  Express that thankfulness to each other by being present for each other each day. 
Generosity is how we show gratitude and thanks.  The love drawing you together is but one expression of the great Love that drives the universe, the love of Jesus, the Love that gave itself upon the Cross for us.  This love knows no end, and is ever growing.  Hoarding it will only kill it; it must be shared.  
I know that both of you hope to have children, and I pray that God give you the desires of your hearts.  Children give us the greatest opportunity we have to be generous: with life, with time, with concern, and our hopes and plans.    
Make your home a hearth of hospitality, of generous and unfeigned welcome.   
Generosity of the heart is called forgiveness.  When you fall into problems, be honest and quickly admit it and try to make things right.  And forgive, forgive, forgive. 
I pray, Daniel and Elizabeth, that you may grow old together, like Tobias and Sarah, like Tobit and Anna, and find continuing joy.  This life can sometimes be hard on us, and it is through faithfulness in love, gratitude in thanksgiving, and the generosity of self-sacrifice and forgiving that we are able to make it through okay.  
May God bless you, your marriage, and your family now and always. 
In the name of Christ, Amen. 

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