Quietness and Peace (Mid-week Message)

 Michelangelo, Sistine Chapel Ceiling, "Isaiah"

Quietness and Peace

Fr. Tony’s Midweek Message

April 29, 2020

“O God of peace, you have taught us that in returning and rest we shall be saved, in quietness and peace shall be our strength: By the might of your Spirit lift us, we pray, to your presence, where we may be still and know that you are God; through Jesus Christ our Lord, Amen.” (BCP, p. 832)

This beautiful collect draws images from first Isaiah’s oracles about war and a siege of Jerusalem.  The strong ramparts and stone walls of the city, once thought to be the bulwark of safety, crack and shatter like cheap pottery, where in fact salvation lies in the stillness of walled-in isolation lived in trust of God: 

“Inasmuch as you have spurned this word

And placed your trust in oppression and

perversion and leaned on it,

Therefore this crime shall become for you

Like a breach spreading down a high wall,

where all of a sudden the breaking point comes. 

And its breaking like the breaking of a potter’s jar,

relentlessly shattered,

And no shard will be found in its fragments

to carry fire from a hearth or scoop water from a puddle. 

For thus says the Master, the LORD, Israel’s Holy One:

In quiet and stillness you shall be rescued,

In calm and trust shall your valor be,

But you did not want it.” 
(Isaiah 30:13-15; Robert Alter translation)

For Isaiah, the isolation and hardships of living in a besieged city under rationing were occasions to learn trust in Yahweh and distance ourselves  from things that keep us from trusting God just as those observing the Mosaic Law distanced themselves from sources of ritual impurity such as menstruating women: 

“And the Master shall give you

         bread of straits and water of oppression. 

But your Teacher shall no longer be concealed,

         and your eyes shall see your Teacher,

and your ears shall hear a word behind you, saying:

         This is the way, go upon it,

                  Whether you turn to the right of the left.

You shall defile the overlay of your silver idols

         And the plating of your molten images of gold.

You shall scatter them [i.e., put them at a distance] like a woman in her uncleanness.” (Isaiah 30:20-22, Robert Alter translation). 

Current physical distancing rules and the isolation of quarantine due to Covid-19 are beginning to wear on most of us.  We know that we need to reconstitute our common life, including our economy and livelihoods, but cannot yet because our public health officials and medical scientists say that we are not ready to do so without causing a sudden rebound in the contagion.   Those of us most at risk from the virus—the elderly and those with underlying health problems—will probably have to maintain isolation and distancing even after restrictions begin to be eased.   This is beginning to feel like a long siege, and we are noticing the hardships more and more, especially those of us who do not enjoy privilege or financial stability.   So the principles in Isaiah’s oracles are important for us here and now. 

We should not think that safety and security are sure bets even with the best of our efforts:    just as those ramparts and walls could snap and shatter like pottery, we might get sick or transmit the illness to others despite our most scrupulous observance of the health and hygiene guidelines.    But that does not mean we should abandon our efforts prematurely and thus cause our walls to shatter. 

We should be willing to sacrifice our idols—even money, gold, and economic power—in order to safely get through the siege. 

We should realize that in this plague, just as in a siege, true confidence and steady bravery come from the rest and peace in our hearts and minds that come from trusting God. 

Such trust must find expression in our actions:  like distancing ourselves from thoughts and behaviors that put us at odds with God; or, quite literally, continuing to distance ourselves from others who might be sources or objects of contagion.

The collect concludes with a line that we would do well to remember in all times of trial and stress, “Be still, and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:11).  May we in this time of troubled isolation find the thin place where God’s presence is most evident, and, contemplating this, find peace and the bravery necessary to carry on. 

Grace and Peace.

Fr. Tony+

Do Not Lose Heart (Midweek Message)

Fr. Tony’s Midweek Message

Do Not Lose Heart

April 22, 2020

“So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer selves are withering away, our inner selves are being renewed each and every day. For our current bit of suffering—so insubstantial a burden as to be almost nothing—is kindling in us a light glorious and substantial beyond any possible comparison, because we are looking not at what is before our eyes, but at what is hidden from our eyes; for what can be seen passes quickly away, but what cannot be seen lasts forever… For we know that when these bodies of ours are taken down like tents and folded away, we will find our true bodies—not tents but a great building for our dwelling place, ever-lasting in the heavens, made by God and not by human hands.  …  It is God who has given us hints of this bright future, by giving us his Spirit as a down payment of what’s ahead”  (2 Cor. 4:16-17; 5:1-5).

Paul here is not disparaging the world in which we live, the world before our eyes.  Elsewhere, Paul is very clear that he sees plenty of evidences in the world of God’s good intention and love in the world.  Here Paul describes how things seem when we are suffering and having a hard time seeing any good before our eyes. 

 He says that what keeps us going in such straits is the vision we have inside our hearts of the important things.   Recognizing that all human life ends in sickness and death, he uses a commonplace from Stoic philosophy: the world is changing and reliably unreliable.  What really matters by contrast—the true, the beautiful, and the good—is unchanging.  It is the vision of this in our hearts and minds, he says, that saves us from “losing heart.”

The word Paul uses for “losing heart” literally means “being beaten down by bad things.”    He contrasts our sufferings, changeable and limited in time, with the unchanging timelessness of the Shining Brilliance around the person of God.  This brilliance is the glory of God, in Hebrew, kavod, that is, substantial heaviness.  Paul says that our “momentary” sufferings are very light and insubstantial by comparison with this “weight of glory,” a timeless beauty that our sufferings actually are creating in us, unseen.  He says that the substantiality of God’s light is a “hyperbole beyond all hyperboles,” immeasurable, timeless.  

 

Paul is contrasting how things now appear with how things actually are.

  

For Paul, the hidden “eternal weight of glory” or “timeless mass of Light” is actually the real thing, while our suffering is but a dim shadow, an unsubstantial trifle, that is passing away.    The image in our hearts of what God has promised, and what God is already actually accomplishing in us, drives away the demons of hopelessness and helplessness that threaten to beat us down. 

Paul is advising a path of contemplation as a way of driving away despair, of being “renewed every day” so that “we do not lose heart.”

My father used to sing a popular song from his youth, “You’ve got to 

accentuate the positive, eliminate the negative, latch on to the affirmative, watch out for Mr. in-between.”  This is just part of what Paul is trying to say. 

Paul tells us to contemplate the “invisible things” which do not change instead of the “things before our eyes” that do. 

His argument parallels Saint-Exupery’s belief that “It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”  

In order to break out of hopelessness, you have to change the dialog going on inside your head.  The dialog inside a depressed person’s head is an argument that he or she can only lose.  Talking of constitutional melancholy, Samuel Johnson observed, “A man so afflicted, Sir, must divert distressing thoughts, and not combat with them”  (Boswell’s Life of Johnson). 

It might be as simple as finding memories, stories, or images that embolden and inspire us.  In Ken Kesey’s One Flew over the Cuckoo’s Nest, Chief Bromden finds his release and freedom simply through continued memory of McMurphy’s bravery n standing up to Nurse Ratched, as badly as that turned out.

For Paul, the ultimate reassuring image is that of God’s love and ultimate triumph over what is wrong with the world.  That is why he dwells so much on  “Christ, Christ on the Cross” and the Risen Lord. 

In the words of two African-American freedom songs, one a Spiritual and the other a Work Song, Paul wants us to “keep our eyes on the prize,” and our “hands on the plough.”  He wants us to “hold on, hold on.” 

Friends, occasional feelings of hopelessness and helplessness are part of being human.  They are almost guaranteed to appear, sooner or later, in stress conditions like we see today. 

You don’t have to be alone, even in physical isolation and distancing.  Make a phone call.  Talk with a friend at a distance.  Just as sharing joys with another seem to double our happiness, sharing sorrows with another seems to lighten them by half. 

If you are truly depressed, you may need to talk with a physician or counselor.  The medications now available can help put a bottom in your sinking boat so that you can begin the hard work of bailing the water out.  If you ever start thinking about doing harm to yourself or others, you need immediately to talk to a professional for help.

For most of us, it may not be as dramatic as that.  But we must not resign ourselves to being beaten down, and we must not, in Paul’s words, “lose heart.”  The actor Tom Bosley (the guy who played Richie’s father on Happy Days) said, “Many people think that depression is something you just have to live with when you get older, but it’s not.” 

We too need to talk and share.  And we need to contemplate the glorious mystery of God,  Christ in glory, not immediately evident before our everyday eyes.

Grace and Peace,  Fr. Tony+  

The Heart's Direction (Easter 2A)

 

“The Heart’s Direction”
Second Sunday of Easter (Year A)
19 April 2020
Homily 

Live-streamed 10 a.m. Ante-Communion and Benediction

with Flowering of the Cross 

Trinity Parish Church, Ashland, Oregon

The Rev. Fr. Tony Hutchinson, SCP, Ph.D.

Acts 2:14a, 22-32 ; 1 Peter 1:3-9 ; John 20:19-31 ; Psalm 16

God, give us hearts to feel and love,

 take away our hearts of stone
 and give us hearts of flesh. Amen.

A Church of England priest friend of mine in Hong Kong this week sent me a picture of a marquee of an Australian “Church of the Godless.”  It read, simply, “England sent all its religious nuts to America, and its criminals to Australia:  We Aussies got the better deal.” 

This week religious and ideological libertarian crack-pottery seems to have blossomed and encouraged some people to fight against the physical distancing rules that are one of our only methods to contain this pandemic until we have adequate testing, contact tracing, and vaccines.  The tragedy is not only those who will win Darwin Awards for being put out of the gene pool for their stubborn stupidity, but all those others whom the virus may kill because of transmission from the infected non-symptomatic who thought they knew better than the experts. Doubt and faith, truth and error, both for good or ill, appear to be currency in this divided partisan terrain that seems unable to wake up even in the presence of real threat, economic collapse, and life or death pandemic danger.  

We often misunderstand the story of Thomas.  We think that he is a man who refuses the faith and demands proof instead. “Doubting Thomas” we call him.   The Eastern Church, I think, has a better take on the story when it looks at Thomas’ intentions and his declaration “My Lord and my God!” at the end of the story.  For them, he is the first believer in the Holy Trinity. 

Thomas is clearly is a saint for the current times of isolation and physical distancing.  Somewhat of an outlier, he is off by himself the first time Jesus appears. The other apostles seem to be extroverts, energized by being in the group.  Thomas seems to prefer solitude.    He also seems more honest than the rest in confronting his fears and doubts.  “I don’t think I’ll be able to believe what you say here until I see it myself,” he says.  Thomas’ doubt is a tool to help him process the unknown and the wonderful, not a blanket rejection. 

You see, there are two different kinds of doubt, depending on our intentions. 

One kind of doubt is a heuristic tool, an instrument to help us discover truth.  It is open, willing to learn new things.  This is Thomas’ doubt, and it is a good thing.  Karl Popper calls it “falsifiability,” and it is the basis of science.  Science, when properly pursued, is a consistent and disciplined use of this first kind of doubt.   

The other kind of doubt is a willful and stubborn rejection of truth, even as evidence piles up in front of us.  One of the great harms I see in the current climate of polarized politics that seem driven more by resentment, blame, and anger than by reasoned attention to truth and vetting of facts is the normalization of dwelling in our own little interior landscapes rather than in an objective world of truth and cold, hard facts.  There is something profoundly wrong on the spiritual level with people who think that wishing something were so makes it thus.

Humble, heuristic doubt is open and affirming; stubborn, deny-the-facts doubt is closed and negative.  When put into practice at a social level, heuristic doubt produces true democracy and authentic freedom for all, while resentful doubt means thought-police and tyranny. 

Affirming doubt leads to assurance and faith. Denying doubt leads to exclusive nihilism and cranky partisanship. 

The direction of the heart, our intention, is what makes the difference. 

In my experience, what matters most is not whether you are a believer or not—not even whether what you believe is truth or error, though this is very, very, important—but what kind of heart you have.  Is it open or closed?  Does it seek something beyond itself or is it satisfied or stingy with what it has?  

You have some believers who have open hearts and some who have closed hearts.  And you have some unbelievers with open hearts and some with closed hearts.     

Believers with cold, tightly closed hearts give faith and religion a bad name. They can be something very close to demons:  inquisitors, partisans, guardians of morality and correct doctrine, holy warriors, who do horrible things to other people in the name of their God.  Now, they can pursue under the guise of “religious freedom” and “personal liberty” selfish acts that put not only themselves at risk, but all.  Snake handling and putting God to the test was never the Christian way. 

In the Gospels, the only people with whom Jesus regularly gets angry are the closed-hearted religious.  To them he says, “Sex workers and traitors will get into the Kingdom of God before you will, because they at least recognize their need for God.” 

Unbelievers with cold, tightly closed hearts—the militant godless—can be something close to monsters because they too can do horrible things to others to build the utopia their ideology demands.  

Believers with open hearts remain in awe of what they do not understand about God, what is unclear, and how far removed they are from Deity.  As Paul says, “The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control” (Gal. 5:22-23).

Unbelievers, even disbelievers, can remain open in their hearts, even if they cannot work a faith up for right now.  An example of this is people in recovery in Twelve-Step programs who cannot profess faith in God, but yet “come to believe” in a power greater than themselves, a Higher Power, any higher power.

We can go from closed-heartness to open-heartness quickly, even with no immediate change in our opinions, and then back again.  Openness is a habit of the heart, an orientation of the personality, not signing on to a particular idea.  

The direction of our heart matters.   But our intentions are not the whole matter—they do not excuse or expunge wicked deeds done for the best of reasons.  In the adage, the road to hell is paved with good intentions.  Again, the issue here is an openness to look at the facts, not at our desires. 

The direction of our hearts is the difference between being open or closed, inclusive or exclusive, helpful or insulting.  It is the difference between life-giving doubt and deadly doubt.  It is the difference between constantly running from one argument, one confrontation, of one sort or with this person, to another one of a different sort and with another person, and walking a gentle, calm, and sometimes winding path where we engage with our fellows and grow in love and the ability to hear each other.  Christian spiritual masters over the centuries have pointed out that this is at the heart of the Gospel.  We turn over the results of our actions to God, and focus on process and not product.  We see the person in front of us and beside us.  We draw ever larger circles of “us” and simply turn our backs on the constant temptation to “other” people we have problems with. 

In this story, Thomas does not follow his doubt into stubbornness.  Though he said, “Unless I touch the nail prints and spear wound, I shall not believe,” he only has to look at the Risen Lord to know what the other apostles have said is true.  It is only when we can harness an open-minded skepticism that we can, at long last, look up and see Jesus, more alive than he ever was before, and declare with Thomas, “My Lord and My God.” 

Amen.

Alone but Not Lonely (midweek message)

 LucaLorenzelli/iStockPhoto / Getty Images

Fr. Tony’s Midweek Message

Alone but not Lonely

April 15, 2020

Almighty God, whose Son had nowhere to lay his head: Grant that those who live alone may not be lonely in their solitude, but that, following in his steps, they may find fulfillment in loving you and their neighbors; through Jesus Christ our Lord. Amen. (BCP, 829)

Today marks the 4^th week since we began physical distancing and shelter-in-place here in Ashland; it looks like at least another 4 weeks may be needed before we can begin to figure out how restart our common life and economy.  The U.S. Department of Health and Human Service’s Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration (SAMHSA) has updated guidelines for getting through a pandemic isolation and quarantine emotionally and mentally in one piece.  The whole thing can be read at https://store.samhsa.gov/sites/default/files/d7/priv/sma14-4894.pdf

SAMHSA says that we can anticipate certain emotional responses to the stress of isolation:  anxiety or worry about our own health or those around you, fear about not being able to care for those who depend on us, uncertainty, boredom and frustration at not having things the way we want them, anger if you think you have been exposed to illness through the negligence of others, rage at leadership’s efforts to cope with the pandemic—whether too little or too much, too slow or too fast.  Depression is common among those facing the stress of pandemic isolation; Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, while less common, also can be expected in a percentage of the population.  

Understanding realistically the risks involved is essential:  public perceptions in times like these tend to be either way overblown or too understated.  Keep up to date, but do not overdo your exposure to media coverage.  Rely on credible sources of information and pay particular heed to the announcements of our state public health authorities. 

Often in extended times of risk, people can begin to overuse alcohol or drugs (prescribed or street) to “deal with” the stress and depression.  But this only makes things worse, and can lead to real inability to cope with the risks.  Remember that alcohol is a depressant: too much too regularly can only lead to greater and greater depression and anxiety.  Being cooped up with another person can bring out the worst in our relationships.  If you have a history of abuse in a family, times like these often can bring relapse and tragedy.  

In all of this, we need to face our situation honestly.  Ask yourself if you have been drinking more since you’ve been in lock-down: more than before, or more than you think you should.  Remember that one of the earliest signs of substance abuse is denial:  saying to yourself and others that there is no problem when every objective standard suggests there is.  Have you felt rage?  Have you been angry and controlling to those with you?  Or have you felt threatened in your “shelter” because of the scary people you are sheltering with? 

All of these are hard issues, but have to be addressed head-on.  If you feel lonely or need support, call someone, whether  your doctor, a family member elsewhere, friends, or clergy at Trinity.  All the mental health, substance abuse, and domestic abuse hotlines remain open: you should call these if you even fear that there may be a problem.  Jackson County’s Help Line, a 24 hours a day 7 days a week crisis call center for mental health, substance abuse, and domestic violence concerns is a good starting point: 541-779-4357.  If you are depressed to the point of thinking about ways of harming yourself, or fear that you may harm others, call immediately.    

Just vegetating in front of the Netflix screen, eating junk food and sugary drinks is a fail-safe way of feeding depression.  To overcome this, you must intentionally, as a matter of decision, break out of your isolation (without violating physical distancing rules). 

Regularly and intentionally connecting with others by phone or video-conference, letters, or even at a distance over a fence, is a good start in overcoming the stress of isolation.  Maintaining good health practices like healthy food and regular exercise overcomes the blue demon much better than any self-medication.   Meditating, prayer, and any of the contemplative practices we use at Trinity (like Lectio Divina or Centering Prayer) will go a long way in restoring a sense of balance and purpose.  Getting busy on a task you have wanted to do for a long time but never had the time for is a good way of focusing your attention elsewhere.  Maybe take that online course you have wanted to take for years? 

There is no reason to be lonely while you are alone, or to let this virus kill you slowly without ever having infected you.   We want everyone stronger and healthier when we come out of this, not the beaten down walking wounded.   

Grace and peace. 

Fr. Tony+

Easter Homily of St. John Chrysostom

The Easter Homily of

St. John Chrysostom
Homily delivered Easter Sunday (Easter Sunday A RCL)

The Rev. Fr. Tony Hutchinson, SCP, Ph.D.
12 April 2020; 10:00 a.m. Live-streamed Ante-Communion with Benediction
Parish Church of Trinity, Ashland (Oregon)
Readings: 

Jeremiah 31:1-6; Colossians 3:1-4; John 20:1-18; Psalm 118:1-2, 14-24

Lord Jesus, you were raised in light and glory from the dead.  Pour out upon us your light and life, that we may share your love with all.

Amen.

In  preparing this liturgy, I thought I would make use of a time-honored Anglican/Episcopalian tradition  and simply preach a homily by one of my betters.  The first Prayer Book, aware how poor priests’ education was, made provisions for a Book of Homilies.  Eventually there were four prepared, of sermons seen as exemplary.  Using them helped solve the problem of a bunch of presbyters who held a lot of cranky and downright wrong ideas.  The homily I have chosen is known by many as the best Christian sermon ever preached, The Easter Homily of St. John Chrysostom.  It was preached in Constantinople around the year A.D. 400.  In case any of you think I tried to escape preparation time here, know that I am using here my own translation from the Greek, made for you for this Easter day. 

If any of you are devout and God-loving, take joy in this kind and bright Feast of all Feasts. 

If any are wise servants, come rejoicing into your Lord’s joy. 

You who are worn out by fasting, receive your wages.

You who have worked from sunrise, come now to the party!

You who came at nine o’clock in the morning, rejoice!

You who waited until the noon, celebrate!

You who came at 3 p.m., do not be sad!

You who arrived barely in time for sunset, don’t worry about how late you are.

No one will be deprived of heavenly joy. Our generous Lord welcomes those who come last in the same way as those who come first. He shows mercy to the first and rejoices in the last. He comforts those who came at sunset just as if they had worked hard from sunrise. He gives to everyone, both those who worked and those who merely wanted to work.  He welcomes with open arms our service and hugs our intentions. He values not just our works, but praises our mere desire to do well also. 

All of you enter into the joy of the Lord: First and last, receive the reward!

Rich and poor, one with another, dance for joy!  

You who are hard on yourselves, and all you slackers, celebrate this day!  

You who have fasted and you who have cheated in the fast, be glad together.

The table is groaning, overloaded with the finest food: eat your fill! Each and every one of you enjoy the rich banquet of faith and God’s loving kindness.  Do not go off still hungry or offended at something or other.  No one should regret their poverty, for God’s Reign is now here—for everyone!

No more weeping over our sins—forgiveness for all has burst with light from the grave.   

No more fear of death, for Jesus’ death has freed us all.

Death grabbed onto him tightly, but He subdued it. 

He descended into hell, but took hell captive.

When Death tasted his flesh, it found him bitter on the tongue. Isaiah foretold it: “Hell was overcome, having met You in the underworld!”

Hell had to mourn, for it was undone!

Hell panicked, for it was condemned!

Hell went hungry, for it was put down!

Hell was destroyed, for it was bound!

It thought it was taking in one more corpse, but touched God instead!

It thought it was seeking earth, but met heaven.

It took what was there for the taking, but found itself falling into unexpected oblivion!

Death! Where is your sting? Hell! Where is your victory?

Christ is risen; you are brought down. Christ is risen; the demons have fallen. Christ is risen; the angels rejoice. Christ is risen; life triumphs. Christ is risen; no dead are left in the grave.

Christ is risen from the dead, the first fruits of those who sleep.  To Him be glory and power now and forever. Amen

They All Abandoned Him (Good Friday)

“They All Abandoned Him”

Good Friday

April 10, 2020

12:00 noon Good Friday Liturgy with Adoration of the Cross

live-streamed at facebook.com/trinityashland

Trinity Episcopal Church

Ashland, Oregon

The Rev. Fr. Tony Hutchinson, SCP, Ph.D.
Isaiah 52:13-53:12; Hebrews 10:16-25; Psalm 22; John 18:1-19:42

God, take away our hearts of stone
 and give us hearts of flesh. Amen.

One of the saddest elements of the passion stories is found in a line from Mark’s Gospel, repeated in Matthew’s, describing the disciples’ reaction to the arrest of Jesus, “And they all forsook him and fled” (Mark 14:50; cf. Matthew 26:56).   All four Gospels agree that several of Jesus’ women disciples watched on from a distance as he suffered on the cross, and then sought to care for his body after his death.  And John’s Gospel insists that the founder of that Gospel’s community, the beloved disciple, also stood by the cross with Jesus’ mother.  But apart from that, all Jesus’ disciples abandoned him, including St. Peter, whose initial effort to follow Jesus ends in his denial in all four Gospels of even knowing him. 

The fact is, the disciples had always been skeptical of Jesus, and wary of his strange ways of thinking and behaving.  At turns in the Gospel stories of his life, they are “variously enthralled, mystified, bemused, apprehensive, and confounded” (A Keeper of the Word: the Selected Writings of William Stringfellow, ed. Bill Wylie Keller; Eerdmans: Grand Rapids, 1994, p. 394.)

Earlier, even when the disciples seemed to be doing their best, they fail miserably.  When Peter first confesses Jesus as Christ, he immediately spoils the moment by arguing with Jesus over what it means to be a Messiah, insisting that Jesus cannot suffer or die, lest the kingdom not come.  “Get behind me, Satan,” is Jesus’ response.   Peter seems to be rehearsing for Good Friday. 

We see it again and again.  The disciples go out, charged by Jesus to preach the arrival of the Kingdom and heal the sick.  Sometimes they succeed, but there are several stories where they fail, and are gently chided by Jesus for their lack of trust in God.   Peter sinks in the waves as he tries to follow Jesus’ beckoning as he walks on the sea.  They doubt Jesus’ care for them during the tempest on the sea.  The sons of Zebedee, James and John, try to set themselves up with special places of honor beside Jesus, and all the other disciples argue with them over it.  They repeatedly misunderstand parables and sayings of Jesus, even when he speaks in relatively clear terms.  Even on the evening of the last supper with Jesus, on Maundy Thursday, the disciples are still arguing with each other over their relative rank.  

Holy Week sees the problem condensed and concentrated.  The disciples’ acclamation of Jesus as the coming David on Palm Sunday quickly turns into worry at what they see as his erratic acts, the cursing of the fig tree, his act of protest in the Temple, his strange declaration at their last meal together that the bread and wine are not the Passover’s “Bread of Affliction” or “Cup of Blessing,” but rather his own body and blood, broken and poured out for the many, that is, for all.  By the time his inner circle accompanies him to Gethsemane, they are exhausted, worn out, and cannot even stay awake to prayer with him. 

And these people were Jesus’ friends and family!  As William Stringfellow writes, “…if one goes no further than this, there is a warning for people now in these New Testament reports of the skepticism or incredulity of the disciples (and of Jesus’ family) despite their intimacy with Jesus.  This should be enough to render people wary of huckster preachers or celebrity evangelists who assert that mere intimacy with Jesus of an intense, private, or exclusive nature is faith.  This is a fascinating, tempting, simplistic, but unbiblical doctrine… [F]or all their unique experience in the company of Jesus, the disciples did not believe him or believe in him.  What seems most surprising and crucial, furthermore, is that some of this disbelief of the disciples persisted even after the resurrection” (ibid., 396-7.)   

We are the disciples in these stories. Their abandonment, incredulity, and obstinacy is ours.

  

How often do we let our fear keep us from following Jesus’ call? 

How often do we let our desire for control and security, at least the semblance of control and security, make us walk paths Jesus warns us against? 

How often do we compartmentalize our lives—faith and religion over here, and politics, economics, finances, social status, and amusements over here? 

Jesus was not broken and killed on the Cross to pay a debt for us to some great Loan Shark in the Sky who has been waiting to break our knees to punish us.  He did not bleed to death on the Cross to feed the lust of a bloodthirsty Deity overwhelmed by wrath against us.  Such a deity is not the loving Abba Jesus taught us about.  

Jesus had to die because he was human, and human beings die, often by unfair brutality and unjustly.  When the Word was made flesh and dwelt among us, God took on all it means to be human.  And it is our sinful way of behaving that killed him. 

Jesus died for our sins.  He did not die to pay the punishment for our sins; rather, he died because of our sin.  It was not from a Wrathful Deity that Jesus redeemed us, that is, bought our freedom. Rather, it was from Sin itself, from the Accuser and from Wrath writ large that he redeemed us.  He did this by taking on all it means to be human, in suffering at our hands, and by overturning such Accusation and Oppression through being raised from Death itself.     

They all abandoned him.  We all abandon him.  But he does not abandon us. 

But that is why Jesus left us the Spirit, and the Church.  We help each other back onto the Way.  We encourage each other to come back, to not abandon Jesus.  Jesus on the Cross gives the idealized Beloved Disciple charge of his Mother, Mary.  In so doing, he places us all in her charge as well.  And as he asked us at the Last Supper, we must love and care for each other. 

Let us pray.

We adore you, O crucified one, and we bless you.  Because of your Holy Cross, you heal us from our brokenness and wickedness.  Grant us in your compassion that we may follow you on the Way of the Cross, and never abandon you.  Amen

One Day at a Time (Mid-week Message)

Fr. Tony’s Midweek Message

One Day at a Time

April 8, 2020

“If you are going through hell, the only thing to do is keep going.”

--Winston Churchill

“If you can’t fly then run.  If you can’t run, then walk.  If you can’t walk, then crawl.  But whatever you do, you have to keep moving forward.”

 –The Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. 

“What matters is not the size of the dog in a fight,

but the amount of fight in the dog.”  --Mark Twain

Sometimes when faced with an enormous problem that appears to have no end in sight, we begin to obsess about what is going to happen next, soon, or eventually.  We start wondering about the future, and often regret the lost past.  But if we are fear-ridden about things to come, and remorse-laden over what is lost, we are not living in the present.  And this makes us unable to face anything.  People in recovery from drug or alcohol addiction know that this is a remedy for failure.  One of their irreverent but memorable slogans is “If you have one foot in the future and one in the past, all you can do is piss on the present.” 

Jesus said again and again, “Fear not,” and “Trust God.”  He said, "Do not worry about tomorrow, and what it may bring."  Buddhism phrases this as “be mindful” and “be fully present.” If you dwell in the present and focus your attention on it, you have a chance of maintaining some serenity and calm, perhaps even some joy, because you begin to focus on the next steps you must take rather than worrying about big, horrible outcomes.  This does not mean covering your eyes, burying your head in the sand, or being irresponsible about your future needs and duties.  It does mean keeping all those concerns under control by recognizing what you have some control over now, and what you have little control over. 

 

This spirituality is summed up in the Twelve Step Program’s tag line “One Day at a Time.”   An addict, when faced with the prospect of never ever returning to the drug of choice, is overwhelmed with hopelessness—“how can I not relapse?” “Can you defy gravity?” “How can you breathe under water?”   Attending to today alone, what one needs to do today, is the key.  Don’t worry about the road ahead writ large, rather, focus on the next right thing, the step you must take now. As Jesus says, "Think about today:  tomorrow has enough to worry about." 

Physical distancing, quarantine and isolation, fear about “what will happen to me, or my loved ones?” is hard.    It can beat us into despair and a frenzy of panic.  The answer is simple, however:  “Let go, and let God.”  That is, free yourself of the responsibility of outcomes and allow your trust in a provident Deity to hold you up so you can keep going.  When you are in hell, you can only get through it by keeping on.  And one of the only ways to keep on going is to worry just about what is before us, and what we are currently called to do. 

Grace and Peace. 

Fr. Tony+ 

NOTE ON HOLY WEEK: 

Trinity Ashland will live-stream at www.facebook.com/trinityashland services for Maundy Thursday (7 p.m.), Good Friday (Noon), and Easter Sunday (10 a.m.).  We will participate in the Diocesan Great Vigil of Easter on Saturday at 7 pm, live-streamed at www.facebook.com/trinitycathpdx and www.youtube.com/trinitycathpdx . Trinity Ashland will email our bulletins before services and post them at www.trinitychurchashland.org .  The Cathedral will post its bulletins at Service Leaflets - Trinity Episcopal Cathedral .  Our bulletins include directions for commemorating these rites at home, including for Maundy Thursday a 6 p.m. agapé meal as well as hand-washing and stripping of your home altar, and for Good Friday adoration of the cross and walking the way of the cross after the service.   If the feeds should break off at any time, we will quickly renew the stream (this takes usually less than 4 minutes), and resume where we left off.  Having the bulletins on hand (printed or on another screen) means you can continue the rites at home even if you cannot get a broken feed back.