“Faithful, Thankful, Generous”
1 December 2012 5:00 p.m.
Holy Matrimony
Homily preached at Cathedral Church of St. Mark
Seattle Washington
At the wedding of Daniel Bunn and Elizabeth Bogges
Then Tobias began to say, "Blessed are you, O God of our ancestors, and blessed is your name in all generations forever. Let the heavens and the whole creation bless you forever. You made Adam, and for him you made his wife Eve as a helper and support. From the two of them the human race has sprung. You said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; let us make a helper for him like himself.' I now am taking this kinswoman of mine, not because of lust, but with sincerity. Grant that she and I may find mercy and that we may grow old together." And they both said, "Amen, Amen." Then they went to sleep for the night. (Tobit 8:5-9)
Elizabeth
and Daniel, it is a joy to be here today to celebrate with you, your families
and friends, as you two express your love and commitment to each other through
vows, the exchange of rings, and sharing our Great Thanksgiving at God’s Table.
You chose
as a reading a prayer from the Book of Tobit, part of the ancient traditional
Christian canon of the Old Testament.
Called “Apocrypha” by some, the book is about meeting life’s challenges,
families overcoming hard times, and, most importantly, about faithful, thankful,
and generous love.
Tobit,
a righteous Jew, marries Anna; together they have a son, Tobias, their only
child. Their homeland is conquered and the
family is taken into exile. Honest, energetic,
and hardworking, Tobit becomes wealthy. Yet
he is always generous, feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, and burying the
dead deprived of funerals.
But Tobit’s
life, like Job’s, takes a turn for the worse.
The country is split by civil war, and he loses access to the nest egg
for old age that he has stored far off in the East. He is reduced to poverty and finally struck
blind doing his good deeds. His wife
Anna starts to work to keep them from starvation, but this hurts Tobit's male
pride. They argue; Anna reminds Tobit of his former charitable deeds and suggests he needs to learn to accept help as well as give it.
Tobit
is not the only person having a bad time of it. Over in that eastern part of the country, Sarah,
a young distant relative, has married in succession seven husbands. They each mysteriously die before the wedding
is consummated. People are sure she is
haunted by a demon and no one will go near her.
Well, in
the story, the prayers of Sarah and Tobit reach God at the same time. He sends the archangel Raphael, who takes the
guise of a friend and kinsman to accompany Tobias on the long journey to
recover the lost money. Through the
angel’s secret knowledge of medicine and magic, Tobias recovers the money, meets
and marries Sarah, defeats the demon, and returns and cures Tobit’s
blindness. They all live happily ever
after. Sarah and Tobit, both only
children, together have seven kids.
The
story is about the rough things that happen in life and our need to just keep
on doing the right thing, no matter what. It tells us, “Be faithful to God,
faithful to those you love and who love you, and be true to who you are. Be thankful and generous. Listen to your friends and family members’
good advice—especially when things get tough.
Never, ever, give up.”
Our
reading is from when Tobias is about to enter the bridal chamber on his wedding
night, certain that the demon is going to kill him. Raphael gives him a little pep talk. So Tobias gives this prayer instead of
running away.
Tobit teaches
us the importance of faithfulness,
thanksgiving, and generosity. It does not say that those who follow God will
have no problems. It does say that if we
are faithful, grateful, and generous, we have more than enough reason to hope
for the best.
Faithfulness means
sticking by those who have loved you and those whom you love. It is steadiness and reliability. It is like Horton in the Dr. Seuss book—“I
meant what I said and I said what I meant and an elephant’s faithful
100%!” It means keeping our commitments
as well as we are able, whether to God in baptism or to our spouse in
marriage.
Thanksgiving and praise
mean having gratitude and awe at the blessings we enjoy. The prayers of Tobit,
Sarah and Tobias each begin in praise of the Most High, recalling past
blessings and expressing confidence in future ones. Psychologically, thankfulness drives out the
doubt and fear. It replaces barren resentment
with the fertile openness where generosity can grow. A daily habit of prayer and meditation is key
here.
Daniel
and Elizabeth, you have found each other and grown in mutual love, and are at a
place where you can build a life and family together. It is a wondrous gift. Be thankful for it, every day. Express that thankfulness to each other by
being present for each other each day.
Generosity is how
we show gratitude and thanks. The love drawing
you together is but one expression of the great Love that drives the universe, the
love of Jesus, the Love that gave itself upon the Cross for us. This love knows no end, and is ever
growing. Hoarding it will only kill it;
it must be shared.
I know
that both of you hope to have children, and I pray that God give you the
desires of your hearts. Children give us
the greatest opportunity we have to be generous: with life, with time, with
concern, and our hopes and plans.
Make
your home a hearth of hospitality, of generous and unfeigned welcome.
Generosity
of the heart is called forgiveness. When
you fall into problems, be honest and quickly admit it and try to make things
right. And forgive, forgive,
forgive.
I
pray, Daniel and Elizabeth, that you may grow old together, like Tobias and
Sarah, like Tobit and Anna, and find continuing joy. This life can sometimes be hard on us, and it
is through faithfulness in love, gratitude in thanksgiving, and the generosity
of self-sacrifice and forgiving that we are able to make it through okay.
May
God bless you, your marriage, and your family now and always.
In the name of Christ, Amen.
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