The Doubt of St. Thomas, He Qi (2001)
St. Thomas the Apostle
Fr. Tony’s Midweek Message
December 21, 2016
Today is the feast day of St. Thomas the Apostle. In the West we know him as “Doubting
Thomas,” the one who said, "I won’t believe it until I touch it!” But the Eastern Church remembers Thomas for
his confession "My Lord and my God," and sees in him a model of
faith. The full story is found in John
20:19-29. Since it is about doubt, experience, and
faith, it is a good story to remember just before Christmas.
I think we often get this story
wrong: when Jesus says “Blessed are you
Thomas, because you believed when you saw; but more blessed still are they who
do not see and still believe,” we think that this means he is encouraging
mindless acceptance of someone else’s word on something and belittling getting
our own experience and understanding on it.
Not so. When Jesus says “believe”
here, he means, “give your heart to,” “be faithful,” or “trust.” Thomas is blessed because he trusts after experience. Jesus adds that those who can manage trust
even before experience, that is, those whose basic default position is trust
and openness, have a deeper form of blessedness.
But that doesn’t mean blind submission
to authority should trump reason and heuristic use of doubt. It doesn’t mean that personal testimony and
experience are less valuable than taking someone else’s word. Having one’s own experience, and knowing and
understanding mystery and beauty through personal knowledge is a profound real
kind of understanding. Believing someone
else’s word for something is a pale imitation. Note in the story that Thomas in the end doesn’t
have to touch the wounds. It is just
seeing and hearing Jesus that brings him joyfully to his knees. It is openness of heart where blessedness
lies, where God can grab hold of us and change us, and it is this that trumps
experience. And it in itself is deep,
moving experience.
Earlier in John’s Gospel, Thomas told Jesus, “Lord, we do not know where you are going. How can we know the way [to follow you]?” To this Jesus said, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me. If you know me, you will know my Father also. (John 14:1-7) When Thomas says, “My Lord and my God,” it is clear that he now knows the Father and sees him through Jesus.
Later tradition has Thomas going to
India (the Kerala district) and founding the Church there. He is said to have suffered martyrdom in
Madras by a spear thrust. This has
particular resonance, since it was the spear wound in Jesus’ side that Thomas
had wanted to touch.
John Bell and the Iona Community set
words about this story to the traditional Scots Gaelic tune Leis an Lurghainn, and called it Tom’s Song:
Where they were, I’d have been;What they saw, I’d have seen;What they felt, I’d have shown,If I knew what they’d known.Refrain“Peace be with you,” he said,“Take my hand, see my side.Stop your doubting, believeAnd God’s spirit receive.”So I made my demandThat unless, at first hand,I could prove what they said,I’d presume he was dead.All their tales I called liesTill his gaze met my eyes;And the words I’d rehearsedLost their force and dispersed.When I stammered “My Lord!”He replied with the word,“Those who live in God’s lightWalk by faith, not by sight.”Some, like me, ask for proof,Sit and sneer, stand aloof.But belief which is blessedRests on God, not a test.
Grace,
Peace, and Joyous Holidays.
Fr.
Tony+
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