Transforming
Suffering
Fr.
Tony’s Midweek Message
February
12, 2020
“Human beings are born to trouble just as sparks
fly upward.” (Job 5:7)
Suffering is a part of human
existence. The Buddha taught that it in
fact is the defining characteristic of being human, caused by attachment,
wanting to hold on to things that we must lose, or gain things we do not
have. His solution to suffering was to
remove attachment, to not just lower but to remove expectations. We in the West usually find that “solution”
too austere. Instead, we see that there
are usually three ways to respond to suffering.
1) We can tamp it down, simply
eat the suffering, hold it in, and try to contain it with a “stiff upper lip.”
This is a recipe for disaster: the
suffering will consume us, suck out all the joy of our lives, and ultimately
twists itself into greater suffering. 2)
We can transmit or transfer
suffering, i.e., take our pain and dump it, intentionally or irresistibly, onto
someone else, usually friends, families, and colleagues, often people weaker
and more vulnerable than ourselves. When someone higher in the food chain hurts
us, we hurt someone lower in the chain.
We may try to stifle it and then when the anger and sense of injustice
overwhelms us, simply let loose on the nearest vulnerable target. This is a recipe for ruined relationships,
bitter living, and, again, greater suffering.
Or, finally, 3) we can transform
our suffering, by embracing it (something close to Buddha’s solution),
contemplating it, letting it become a point of solidarity with other sufferers,
and then seeing it be transformed into love and service for them. This last way is the only healthy and sound
way of dealing with pain in our lives, the suffering that inevitably is part of
living as a human being.
Franciscan Fr. Richard Rohr says,
“All healthy religion shows you what to do with your pain, with the absurd, the tragic, the nonsensical, the unjust and the undeserved—all of which eventually come into every lifetime. If only we could see these “wounds” as the way through, as Jesus did, then they would become sacred wounds rather than scars to deny, disguise, or project onto others. I am sorry to admit that I first see my wounds as an obstacle more than a gift. Healing is a long journey. If we cannot find a way to make our wounds into sacred wounds, we invariably become cynical, negative, or bitter. This is the storyline of many of the greatest novels, myths, and stories of every culture. If we do not transform our pain, we will most assuredly transmit it—usually to those closest to us: our family, our neighbors, our co-workers, and, invariably, the most vulnerable, our children. Scapegoating, exporting our unresolved hurt, is the most common storyline of human history. The Jesus Story is about radically transforming history and individuals so that we don’t just keep handing on the pain to the next generation. Unless we can find a meaning for human suffering, that God is somehow in it and can also use it for good, humanity is in major trouble… We shouldn’t try to get rid of our own pain until we’ve learned what it has to teach.”
Jesus taught, “If any want to become
my followers, let them deny themselves and take up their cross daily and follow me.” (Luke 9:23)
When
we hold and contemplate our suffering intentionally and with trust, and refuse
the temptations of tamping it down or transferring it, we find ourselves in a
new landscape of the mind and heart. We
find that our lives and expectations are not what we thought they were. We sink our roots much deeper into our
humanity and break into a new awareness of God and love. We find solidarity with other sufferers (and
even with those who cause suffering), realizing that we are all in this
together. And this brings us to a point
of love and service for those who share our human condition.
As
Brother Richard also says,
“Here we are open to learning and breaking through to a much deeper level of faith and consciousness. Please trust me on this. We must all carry the cross of our own reality until God transforms us through it. These are the wounded healers of the world, and healers who have fully faced their wounds are the only ones who heal anyone else.”
Following
Jesus on the way of the cross means also following him on the way of
resurrection. By embracing our
suffering, we triumph over it.
Grace
and Peace.
Fr.
Tony+
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