Thanksgiving and Gratitude
Fr. Tony’s Letter to the Trinitarians
November 2020
Gratitude is the emotion that best connects us with God. Trust is a close second. Both of these are in fact expressions of love. And God is, in fact, Love Itself. Love, trust, and gratitude give us eyes to see God. At the very least they allow us to perceive the works of the hand of God. In times of trouble like these, when we have plenty to complain about, gratitude at the things for which we are thankful is the quickest way to short-circuit lethargy, helplessness, and despair.
There are some basic rules of the road to feeling gratitude and expressing thanksgiving, to keep these profound feelings from leading us astray. They include rules for feeling or expressing gratitude’s opposites, like resentment, disappointment, anger and regret:
1) When good happens, when beauty occurs, when grace arrives, feel gratitude. Let yourself feel it fully. Direct it to the giver, and know that when all is said and done, all good comes from God.
2) When good happens, do not feel that you deserved it, earned it, or were entitled to it. Especially do not feel this if in fact you contributed in some part, large or small, to the arrival of the good. Even if you made the good, recognize that whatever skills, attributes, and abilities you used in doing this were also gifts. Admit that all good gifts come from God, because of God’s goodness, not the goodness of the gift’s recipient.
3) When good happens to other people, be sure to tell them how much they contributed to it or made the good possible. Be lavish in praise. But be careful not to suggest that somehow your good estimation of that person is based merely on their performance.
4) When bad stuff happens to you, do not blame God, or feel that it is punishment. Don’t seek to blame others. If you are responsible in whole or in part, accept the responsibility, but do not mistake the natural results of your actions as malevolent or willed harm from an angry and nasty deity.
5) When bad stuff happens to other people, do not attribute it to some punishment by an avenging or even just God. Do not try to explain it away, or even say you understand. Just say how badly it makes you feel.
6) Use gratitude and thanksgiving as a means of driving away negative feelings. Alienation, anger, hatred, jealousy, envy, fear, disgust—all of these feelings have a difficult time remaining in our hearts when our hearts are full of gratitude and thanks. Make use of a gratitude list and be sure that your prayers have at least as many as many thanksgivings as petitions.
7) Know that joys and thanks shared with others are multiplied, just as sorrows and burdens shared are lightened.
Trappist monk and mystic Thomas Merton once said this to a group of monastic novices:
“Life is this simple: We are living in a world that is absolutely transparent and God is shining through it all the time. This is not just a fable or a nice story. It is true. If we abandon ourselves to God and forget ourselves, we see it sometimes, and we see it maybe frequently. God shows [God’s] self everywhere, in everything - in people and in things and in nature and in events. It becomes very obvious that He is everywhere and in everything and we cannot be without [God]. It's impossible. It's simply impossible. The only thing is that we don't see it.”
Being open hearted, open handed, and open-minded all depend on a sense of gratitude and thanks. When all is said and done, so does any true faith in God.
I am so thankful for so many things. I am grateful for my family, especially my life’s companion Elena, and my children. I am thankful for having been given the privilege of serving my country overseas for most of my adult life, and for the blessing of a late-in-life call to the priesthood in Christ’s One, Holy, and Apostolic Church. I am thankful, so very, very thankful, to be serving this gifted and faith-filled group of friends at this time, here, in the Rogue Valley. I am thankful for the wonderful music here, and for our commitment to service and justice. I am thankful for the opportunities for education and personal development my family and I have had, and for the abundance and liberties we enjoy here in the United States. I am thankful for health and for the natural beauty around me here. I am thankful for so many, many things.
I hope that you take time during the holiday to sit back a few minutes in quiet and reflect on what you are thankful for, what makes you bless God and love the world.
Grace and Peace. Have a Good Thanksgiving Day.
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