Fr. Tony's Letter to the Trinitarians November 2021

 

Father Tony’s Letter to the Trinitarians

November 2021

 

Beloved ones,

 

In the Book of Qohelet (Ecclesiastes) we find this gem praising life in all its variety: 

 

“To everything there is a season,

  and a time for every purpose under the heaven:

A time to be born,

  and a time to die;

A time to plant,

  and a time to uproot what is planted;

A time to kill,

  and a time to heal;

A time to demolish,

  and a time to build up;

A time to weep,

  and a time to laugh;

A time to mourn,

  and a time to dance;

A time to cast away stones,

  and a time to gather stones together;

A time to embrace,

  and a time to refrain from embracing;

A time to acquire,

  and a time to lose;

A time to keep,

  and a time to cast away;

A time to rend,

  and a time to sew;

A time to keep silence,

  and a time to speak;

A time to love,

  and a time to hate;

A time of war,

  and a time of peace.” (3:1-8)

 

My sabbatical has been fantastic!  At the Bishop’s encouragement, I did a week-long consultation with a team of counselors and psychologists that I found very helpful in assessing where I was and perhaps where God might be leading me.  I have been able to make real progress in my translation of the Bible into modern English in gender inclusive and expansive language in cadences suitable for public reading (“The Ashland Bible”). Most importantly, I have been able to give Elena almost full-time hands-on care as she is more and more debilitated by her advanced Parkinson’s disease.    

When I started my sabbatical three months ago, I intended to return to my full-time ministry at Trinity for at least another 2 years.  But starting about 2 months ago, Elena has declined rapidly.  This week she is being put onto home hospice care.  Prospects are that she will be with us still for months or even a year, but she now requires hands-on care at all times.  I am so thankful for the opportunity in these last three months to be free to give that to her in addition to the outside caregivers who have helped her so and will continue to do so.  

 

However, in consultation with the Vestry, the Bishop, and my spiritual director, and after much prayer and reflection, I have come to the conclusion that it is time for me to retire from full-time ministry.  January 1 will see the tenth anniversary of my first Sunday at Trinity, and ten years in parish ministry is a good run by any count.  The Vestry has asked that I come back for a couple of months to help put things in order and allow them time to find an interim priest and begin preparations for a search for a new rector.  We hope that Deacon Meredith and Rev. Mary, who have been so diligent, proactive, and faithful throughout all this, will continue to play a major role in keeping the parish healthy and active. During this time, I will keep somewhat reduced office hours (3 hours a day T-F) and work more at home to allow me to continue to give Elena care at high-need times of the day.  The vestry and I have agreed that my last Sunday at Trinity will be on January 9, the first Sunday of Epiphany, allowing me to celebrate the holy mysteries with you during Advent and Christmastide. 

 

Elena and I hope to remain in Ashland, and both of us have burial niches for us booked in the Trinity Columbarium.  After the time apart required for departing rectors, I hope, if possible and as the new rector directs, to be able to serve you again as a retired priest, finally becoming one of Trinity’s “wise guys.”    

 

I want to thank the Rev. Deacon Meredith Ayer-Pech and the Rev. Mary Piper for the love they showed me by encouraging me into this process of discernment, which turned out to be prescient on their part.  I want to thank the Rev. A.J. Buckley for their work as supply priest these last three months.  And I want to thank the Vestry, wardens, our now-retired Parish Administrator Robin Weiss, and each and every one of you for the wonderful and loving support you have unfailingly showed me and my ministry here.  

 

Know that I have come to this decision with joy and relief—when I told my kids, they said afterward that I was “radiant” for the first time in a couple of years.  I hope that all of you will take this change in Trinity’s common life with joy looking forward, not with regret for things lost. 

 

Most of us in the parish are at a time in our lives when we have to begin to “cast away stones.” We simplify, down-size, and have to let go (reluctantly or relieved) of accustomed and comfortable things.  We mourn the loss of loved ones and “a time to embrace” them.  Especially in this era of pandemic and deadly division in our communities, we all grieve and mourn what we have lost in the last two years, and sometimes feel drawn by the anger and blaming that mourning inevitably entails.   But faith in our loving Lord demands that we focus on the joy with which we have been graced, the memory of good times, and the blessings we experience still each day.  As one of Psalms we recite at Compline says,

 

“Know that the Lord does wonders for the faithful;

when I call upon the Lord, he will hear me.” …

Many are saying, ‘Oh that we might see better times!’ 

Lift up the light of your countenance upon us, O Lord.

You have put gladness in my heart,

More than when grain and wine and oil increase.” (Psalm 4: 3, 6).

 

Looking forward to another two months with you,

Grace and Peace,

Father Tony+.