A Holy and Calming Practice (Midweek Message)

 

A Holy and Calming Practice

Fr. Tony’s Midweek Message

December 1, 2021

 

For those suffering from debilitating diseases like Parkinson’s or MS, bedtime can be very stressful for both them and their caregivers.   The time you normally can provide yourself during the morning and day to make safe and comfortable transfers and hygiene routines has a built-in limit at bedtime:  the risk of the patient getting so tired that they lose all ability to assist in their transfers, control their own balance, or even swallow medicines.  If you go beyond that limit, the result is “sun-downing,” a pretty word coined to describe a horrible thing: a total melt-down and crisis of weeping, cries of pain and suffering, and further incapacitation.  So in preparing a person suffering such an illness for bed, you have to move things along, stay on schedule, and get them safely and securely in bed before then.  The longer you take, the greater the risk of a catastrophic melt-down.   So you move steadily but quickly ahead, and often end up getting through the rough patches by simply “potato-bagging,” carrying or moving the patient almost as if they were an inert weight—a method which, though efficient and quick, is scary and demeaning for the patient and risky for the back health of the caregiver. 

 

About three months ago, I realized that though I had gotten bed-time preps for Elena generally down pat, the relentless press of preparation to avoid sun-downing made us both, once she was safe and sound in bed, stressed and wide awake.  In a moment of inspiration, I thought that what we needed was a practice to settle our hearts and minds once the preps were done. So I started chanting Compline for Elena each night, singing the settings of the rite created by the Society of St. John the Evangelist. 

 

Compline is the monastic prayer service for bedtime, found on pp. 127-135 of the Prayer Book.  It is a collection of calming and peace-inducing texts of scripture and prayers that begins, “The Lord Almighty grant us a peaceful night and a perfect end” followed by a simple confession of sin and declaration of God’s forgiveness.  Then comes a psalm, either 4 (“Answer me when I call, O God, … you set me free when I am hard pressed”), 31 (“Be my strong rock, a castle to keep me safe”), 91 (“You shall not be afraid of any terror by night, … of any plague that stalks in the darkness”), or 134 “Behold now, bless the Lord, all you servants of the Lord, you that stand by night in the house of the Lord.”  Then comes a short text of scripture (I normally use “Come to me all you who labor and are heavy laden and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.  For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”). Prayers for the night follow, beginning with a versicle-response “Into your hands, O Lord, I commend my spirit; for you have redeemed me, O Lord, O God of Truth.  Keep us, O Lord, as the apple of your eye.  Hide us under the shadow of your wings,” introducing a simple Lord’s prayer without the added ending “for thine is the kingdom….”  Then comes a collect (I like “Look down, O Lord, from your heavenly throne, and illumine this night with your celestial brightness”) and then Augustine’s night prayer, “Keep watch dear Lord with those who work, watch, or weep this night, and give your angels charge over those who sleep.  Tend the sick, Lord Christ; give rest to the weary; bless the dying; soothe the suffering; pity the afflicted; shield the joyous, and all for your love’s sake.”   Finally comes the Nunc Dimittis, the Song of Simeon, “Lord you now have set your servant free, to go in peace as you have promised.”   At the close of the service, I usually sing the Marian anthem for the season, in Advent, “Loving Mother of the Redeemer, ever open gate of heaven and star of the sea.”   

 

The whole practice takes less than 15 minutes, even with the slower pace and pauses such texts require. 

 

Using this practice has given both Elena and me (and visiting children and their spouses) great calm and peace.  It is not unusual for Elena to be peacefully asleep as I finish the Marian anthem.  Each evening as we receive absolution and chant the Nunc Dimittis, it is like we have had a joyful and peaceful celebration of last rites preparing us for heaven should we die in our sleep.

 

Reciting compline takes about 10 minutes. Chanting it forces a calm pace and structures your breathing as a practice in itself.  It takes about 12 minutes, and the chants are easily learned simply by following along a recorded compline for several nights.  

 

I wish I had started this practice long ago.  It completes my day in beauty and gives me restful sleep.  I highly recommend it to you. 

 

Grace and Peace.