Wednesday, October 19, 2016

False Friends (Mid-week Message)




Fr. Tony’s Mid-week Message
October 19, 2016
False Friends

In learning any foreign language, we often run into a phenomenon called a “false friend,” or “false cognate”:  a word that looks similar to one we know in our mother language, but which in fact has a very different origin, meaning, and usage.  An example is French attendre.  Beginning students think it means “to attend to,” but learn quickly that it means “to wait.”  Another is French ancien, which means “former” or “old,” rather than “ancient.” 

In our spiritual life, too, there are false friends—things that look similar or identical to values and aspirations, but in fact are their opposites.  Many of Jesus’ parables aim at sorting such confusion out. 

Buddhist thought explains the phenomenon well, I think.  In mainstream dharma teaching, there are four principal divine emotions:  Loving-kindness, Compassion, Joy with others, and Equanimity. Loving-kindness is selfless good will and love for others.  Its polar opposite, obviously, is hatred or ill-will.  Its near enemy looks like love, but is distorted and sick:  it is selfish attachment or the so-called “love” that seeks to control and establish dependence.  Compassion is empathy and sympathy for others.  Its far enemy is cruelty.  Its near enemy is pity.  Where compassion looks on a suffering person as an equal, pity looks down on the sufferers, sees them as inferiors.  Joy in others is opposed by resentment or envy, while its near enemy is mere exuberance in social settings.  Equanimity is the ability to see and feel about yourself as you see and feel about others, and is what I would call humility.  Its polar opposite is envy or jealousy while its near enemy is simple indifference, not caring about yourself or others. 

When reading Jesus’ parables, it is very useful to ask what single point of comparison he is making.  Avoid allegorizing a parable by asking what are the possible extraneous points of comparison that are misleading or false?  When seeking an application, it is useful to ask for definitions:  what is the polar opposite of what he is talking about, and what is its near enemy? 

Grace and Peace,  Fr. Tony+



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