The Virgin of the Lilies, by William Bougeureau
Kindness as a Spiritual Practice
Fr. Tony’s Midweek Message
September 20, 2017
“Be as wise as snakes, but harmless as doves.” —Jesus, in Matt. 10:16“Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about.” –oft-quoted axiom variously attributed to Wendy Mass, the Rev. John Watson, Plato, Philo of Alexandria, or Robin Williams“Life is short and we have little time to gladden the hearts of those who travel with us. So be swift to love, and make haste to be kind.” —Frederick Amiel“Admirable friendship, admirable companionship, admirable camaraderie is actually the whole of the holy life.” —Siddhartha Gautama Buddha, in Uppada Sutta 45.2
We live in what seems at times an increasingly brutal and
heartless culture. Meanness, snapping at
each other, always attributing the worst motives and goals to others, and even
physical abuse seem to be the currency of post-Modern, Trump-led America. And the problem is on all sides: the left pillories and ridicules the right;
the right damns the left. Whites defend
their privilege by denying it exists and quietly (or, recently, not-so-quietly)
berating people of color. People of
color suspect that all whites are closet bigots. Men belittle women with vile
characterizations of emotional and physical cycles, and women complain about
toxic masculinity and testosterone poisoning.
For whatever reasons, even in the Church, even here at our beloved
Trinity Parish Ashland, we see cases where people are far too quick to assign
ignoble motives to others, or question people’s good will, competence, honesty,
or intelligence. This, of course, is a violation of our Lord’s great ethical
demand, the Golden Rule: treat others as
you would be treated.
God knows I fall into this trap far too often, usually when
I am hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. And
those words form an acronym that is a good reminder on how to proceed when I am
in any of those states: HALT.
The practice of kindness is a core tool in the Christian’s
spiritual kit. Most of us were taught
this as children by our parents’ wise words, “If you can’t say anything nice
about someone, remain silent,” and “Before you speak ask three things: Is it
true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?”
How can we be kind to a person who thwarts us or behaves in
ways that annoy us when we ourselves are going through a raft of bad things and
are on edge? A key part of the practice
of kindness is assuming that the person before us, whatever their own
disabilities and hidden battles, is doing their best. In this, we cut that person the slack we
would wish other people would cut us.
Another is not taking possible or clearly intended harms, slights and
insults personally: these reflect those
hidden battles of which we know little, and could as easily have been directed
to someone else. It’s not about us, even
when the person before us wants to make it about us. This is what Jesus is trying to get at when
he teaches “forgive someone who offends you seventy times seven” (Matt.
18:21).
We here at Trinity are a Beloved Community. Gentleness and kindness are the rule, not
the exception. But for our own spiritual
and psychological health as well as the concord and unity of our community, we
need to remember to bring ourselves up short, HALT, when tempted to lash out at
someone present or absent. Instead, give
them benefit of the doubt: Assume that there is suffering as well as good in
the person’s life which we do not see; Assume that they are doing the best they
are able
It will make our lives, and the life of the Church, that
much sweeter and joyful.
Grace and Peace,
Fr. Tony+
No comments:
Post a Comment