Fr. Tony’s Midweek Message
Take Joy
September 27, 2017
During our 25 years in the U.S. Foreign Service, Elena and I
saw regularly a phenomenon that was both surprising yet consistent. You would think that people assigned to
“dream postings” to interesting jobs in convenient, healthy, and beautiful
places would be generally happier than those assigned to difficult and
thankless tasks in what some people called “hell holes.” But
this was not so. In some of the nicest
places you found some of unhappiest people; and in the grimmest, the
happiest. It became clear to us that
some people took their happiness to wherever they were assigned, no matter how
unpleasant, and others took their misery wherever they went, regardless how
pleasant.
Of course, having a good work environment helped, no matter
how nice the locale. And having a toxic
boss could often ruin even the dreamiest of assignments. But even here, it was clear that some people
were resilient and could usefully engage with and mange difficult co-workers
and supervisors, while others didn't seem to get along with anyone, no matter
how easy and decent others found them.
Even in human relations, some take their happiness along with them while
others take their dissatisfaction. Those who take their dissatisfaction spread it easily to others. I
think this is what Oscar Wilde was trying to get at with his bon mot, “Some bring happiness wherever
they go; others, whenever they go.”
There are several practices to which Jesus calls us that
empower us to take our happiness wherever we go, and maintain balance whatever
we suffer.
He tells us to not worry: “Do not worry about your life,
what you shall eat or drink. …You cannot
by worrying add an inch to your height or a minute to your life… Think about
the wild birds: God gives them enough to
eat with no work on their part. And
think about the wildflowers—God dresses them in the finest beauty.” (Matt. 6:25-28)
He tells us to not be critical or condemning: “Do not judge, so that you may not be judged. For
with the judgment you make you will be judged, and the measure you give will be
the measure you get” (Matt. 7:1-2)
He says to pray and to give help to the poor for the sake of
doing those good things in and of themselves, not for show or gaining
influence: “Don’t give alms for show. …
Don’t pray for show.” (Matt. 6:1-6)
He tells us to deal with anger in us or directed at us by
working to resolve conflict as soon as it arises: “If you are angry with your brother or
sister, … come to terms quickly with your accuser.” (Matt. 5:22, 25)
He tells us to practice indifferent or impartial benevolence
in imitation of our loving God: “Love your enemies and
pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be children of your Father in
heaven; for he makes his sun rise on the evil and on the good, and sends rain
on the righteous and on the unrighteous. … Be as perfectly compassionate as
your Father in heaven” (Matt. 5:44-45, 48).
These practices give us a detachment
from what unsettles the heart even while they force us to be fully attentive,
fully present, to our world, and truly listen to those about us. They help us not take things
personally. They help us recognize that
others’ actions toward us stem from a whole raft of things that have little to
do with us, and that our happiness is not dependent on having things just as
we, in our ego and self-absorption want them.
They help us learn how to take our
happiness with us wherever we go, whatever we encounter.
Grace and Peace.
Fr. Tony+
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